If i tell you why i have six toes on my left

If i tell you why i have six toes on my left foot, then will you sleep with me, she asked my friends and I.

We then kidnapped her and got her ready for dissection of the toe area. 6 times had to be investigated.

First we tried 6 times 4, then 6 times 6. Neither of those sizes fit the toe. Nevertheless, she shrieked in pain. "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "Am I violating your bubble?"

But this wasn't a chinese fairytale and so we used one of those strange metal gadgets they measure shoe sizes with. 6 time 5. We've only got the Cruel Shoes in that size.

"No worry! Shoe fit!" The proprietor smeared secret 'flex' cream on his foot, then expertly bent it so the toenails touched the shin. His heel now slid neatly in- but what a walk!

It was less a walk than a waddle, and less a waddle due to the shoes than a waddle due to the proprietor's weirdly jutting hips. You could about rest lamps on those end tables.

The proprietor used clip-on LED lights for the sake of convenience. Snap, snap! It pinched his skin a bit but he had so much extra padding he hardly felt it. Lighting the way

to the future, the proprietor strolled down the pesticides aisle, and people followed him, like sea monkeys follow a flashlight. Down to the shampoo aisle they followed, and onward

To the cereal aisle where they found Rice & Shine, cream of brown rice. That was the sea monkeys' favourite breakfast and only Whole Foods sold it nowadays. The brown rice bags beg

an to dance, and the sea monkeys went wild with anticipation for their meal. They devoured the brown rice. It was delicious, and the monkey overlords were pleased.