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"Great blood and fire. It's hotter here than

  • "Great blood and fire. It's hotter here than Vulcan's dick." Said the

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  • grandmother at the very moment everyone at church was bowing their heads in silent prayer. Gawd, I loved Grandma! She always said and did the funniest things. I remember one time

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  • she put on this funny mask in the bank. It was sooo silly! Then grandma gave a note to the teller. The look on her face! What a scream! After that we had ice cream.

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  • S-sorry... I know it's silly, but at times like this, you need to remember the good times you've had with her, right? As they lowered her casket into the cold earth, Grandmother

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  • gave me a killer's glare then grabbed a shovel and started heaving earth onto the casket with gusto. "Help me out here," Grandmother commanded. "I can't wait to dance a jig on her

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  • grave, a really slow jig. Something sexy." Granny was really worrying me now. "What am I thinking? I can't leave you out, let's do a line dance! Watch the headstones."

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  • There were plenty of places for Granny to fall and break her hip again. Some three years later, Dr. Gstygvcghdffy asked me, how she successfully pulled it off. I didn't know!

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  • Then, I asked old Granny one day, finally sick of guessing. "Son," she said in a wheezy voice, "I smoked a lot of marijuana and pleased a lot of men. That's how I pulled it off."

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  • So I was only mildly surprised when 783 old men showed up for grandma's funeral. "She was a helluva lay," each of them whispered to me as they mounded her grave with roses and

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  • HR demands. Demands such as for overtime, reimbursement for prophylactics, Free Clinic bills, STD Awareness Seminars, and Ballroom Dancing lessons. Grandma was a pearl among women.

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2 Comments

  1. Woab Nov 04 2016 @ 11:20

    You go, Grandma gurl.

  2. BlastedHeath Nov 06 2016 @ 15:55

    Sic transit Gloria Monday.

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