"Jessica." Jim sighed. "You can't keep pretending

"Jessica." Jim sighed. "You can't keep pretending you have a cat... It's just plain weird. What if my mom sees you and takes away her blessing? I can't marry a crazy cat lady."

"Matt you have to believe me," cried Jessica. "The cats want me! I didn't want them! It...it called me Jack, I won't abandon my calling."

Her hair slathered in cat poo, her feline laden cardigan purring in anticipation, she refused to resign as Queen Kitty. Jack was unimpressed.

"I'll never let go, Jack! I REFUSE to let go!" she purred. Jack dangled some cat nip in front of her nose and that was all it took. She could not resist the temptation and

hurled herself into the sea after it, vacating the wooden panel that held her aloft. A panting Jack mounted it, gratefully avoiding hypothermia. Too bad about Rose, but, honestly,

Jack only knew Rose for aday or 2.Jack needed to feel better about himself,so he stood on top of the piece of wood floating in the middle of the ocean,and shouted,"I'm the king of

the world!" Jack whooped and hollered and jumped up and down. Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. "Here we go again." Soon they saw fins circling the makeshift raft.

Meanwhile my package arrived and the postman's real nightmare began. He knew what was inside because of the customs label. He left it at 828 George St. as instructed. Uncle Jack

wasn't mine but he would do in a pinch. After I ladled horseradish all over the package I had Uncle Jack pick it up and deliver it two doors down the street. I insisted he give it