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This is the craziest thing I have ever seen

  • This is the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life.

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  • I hesitate even to begin to tell what happened. I'm sure my story will be met with ridicule or disbelief at best. So I've resolved to tell it anonymously here. Be warned:

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  • I have NOT assigned my true moniker to this whopper of a tale. Be warned that if you knew who I was that your own head would crawl into your ass. This tale is bloodcurlding awful.

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  • I told it to this guy once. When my words hit his ear, his ear died on impact, just kinda sagged there and turned gray. Before I tell my T-Rex Burger of a story, sign this waiver

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  • here, here and here. This story will actually blow your mind. Physically and mentally. No-one has ever lived long enough to hear the entire story as their brain explodes long befor

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  • e they reach the end..." "Yeah, yeah," Tommy said, "so what's this big mind-blowing story, anyway?" Alfie took a swig of his drink. "It goes like this," he began. "One day, a bear

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  • became Catholic, and the Pope was in the woods, and--" "Wait," I interjected. "I've this one before!" "Oh yeah? Well not the way I tell it. Lend me your ears," Alfie said.

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  • "Alright," I said, shrugging and removing my plastic elf ears. "But if you add your awful Legolas impression into this already offensive joke, don't think I won't storm out."

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  • How it happened, I don't know, but suddenly I was all bristly with arrows and I heard Peter Jackson from on high. He was standing on my head! Thank goodness the craft services cart

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  • had reverted back to itself. "What are you doing up there?!" I called to Peter Jackson. "Looking for King Kong," he replied. "He's out there...somewhere...still."

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3 Comments

  1. BlastedHeath Jun 02 2014 @ 21:27

    Slim, I like that nearly Victorian continuation. ;-)

  2. buddyboy4711 Jun 04 2014 @ 14:14

    The T-Rex Burger was a gross appetite intimidator/destroyer, but I'm sharing a story about it anyway because I'm a terrible person: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/06/17/192702863/sandwich-monday-the-wendys-t-rex-burger-r-i-p

  3. SlimWhitman Jul 17 2014 @ 06:39

    Thanks Blasted, I wanted to spin out the noncommital start and see how long we'd take to get to the point, 6 folds as it turned out and we never did tell the story... So picking up where buddyboy left off... http://foldingstory.com/a2dv5/

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