"The Great Titted Warbler" was a flop. Duncan

"The Great Titted Warbler" was a flop. Duncan was crestfallen his DriveIn for Birdwatchers didn't fly. His seedy agent Hackensmoot said "Birdwatching can sell. Depends on the birds

and cinematography." But failure had swallowed his Birdwatching movie. The critics pecked at it. They said it was a bird brained plot. It didn't even have a wing and a prayer in DV

D, Straight-to- heaven. It was no Birdemic, that's for sure. People showed up in droves to screenings of his Birdwatching movie just to make mock bird calls at it. He'd show them

how to cup their hands to their mouths, so as to mimic different bird sounds. A favorite was the call of the great horned owl, although most attempts sounded more like

a gaggle of giggling geese. Part of the reason for that may have been, however, due to the enormous quantity of Maker's Mark the birdcallers had imbibed earlier. They attracted

Dr. Lemgop, whose brain was rapidly deteriorating to match his new penguin body. He begged the geese for a lift to the south pole, but they were falling for the birdcalls of red-

necks on a new reality show called Blast 'n Baste. Sort of a southern take on the farm-to-table movement. Dr. Lemgop was in a bad way. He tried to think what Chilly Willy would do.

and her stupid book club. Oprah never picked an Encyclopedia Brown book as her Book of the Month. Chilly Willie loved Encyclopedia Brown. It was not cool to admit that days but he

loved the color brown. It was the color of fish, and Chilly Willy loved fish. But since there were no purple fish, he wasn't so into the color purple. Dopey penguin!