Amelia kinda knew she shouldn't have married

Amelia kinda knew she shouldn't have married the landscape architect when she cooked him a pie and he complained that "the lattice work wouldn't hold more than three strands of

vanilla frozen yogurt shat out by the behemoth pink berry rental machine. His years of architecture and drafting prepared him for everything but complimenting his date's pie. Eat

pray love was her favorite movie. She had no idea that it was a novel. He was brilliant and talented. She was unskilled and a kook to boot. But she was hot. He did the math. Could

a talented genius truly find happiness with a drop-dead gorgeous piece of ass with only air between her ears? Hell yes! Every Hollywood movie told him so.

He met a girl named Candy Sprinkles - which was a stage name. Her Christian name was Chesty Sparkles; she was named after her maternal grandmother. Vapid but gorgeous, she

I bet she churns a mean pound of butter. Hard to find a woman that will churn butter lately, and this is one of Geo's must have's when looking for a wife. And she is a stripper!

Alas, it turned out that churning was only part of her act! There was no butter in her churn. No cream, even! Geo decided that he needed to move to

see the full extent of exactly what was going on. Somewhat reluctantly, he peered in. An ominous clicking sounded from within it, but before his eyes could adjust to the gloom

the lights switched on. "SURPRISE!" His family screamed. He was so happy to see them all together happily, even if they had once again forgotten his correct birthday.