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This wasn't going to end well. I had barricaded

  • This wasn't going to end well. I had barricaded the doors but the SWAT team was here and I knew from experience that they don't always play nice. There was already one body, and

    7
  • here I was holding a lead pipe. I heard the squak of a bullhorn, "We know you're in there Colonel! Come out of the Billiard Room with your hands up!" How could I tell them they had

    5
  • lost, having blown their accusation on "Mr. Green in the lounge with the rope"? They knocked down the door, which was a fatal mistake - I was a Colonel armed with a candlestick.

    5
  • However, I was being manipulated by a gigantic human loser that rolled a snake eyes. I could only move two tiles forward. That's when Ms. Scarlett with the lead pipe

    5
  • began pole-dancing in the rec room. Colonel Mustard tipper her a 5, poured himself three fingers of Glenlivet and began pressing cartridges into the revolver. The next roll was a 9

    6
  • and Professor Plum moved his pawn around the board. "Jumanji!" screamed Miss Scarlett. The walls turned into trees, the candlestick turned into an ostrich, and the noose became a

    7
  • harness. Scarlett mounted the Ostrich and sped for the trees. But Professor Plum replied with "Hogey-pogey!". This ofcourse was the right move after Scarletts "Jumanji", his pawns

    6
  • converting into archers to unleash a barrage of arrows onto the checkers in the rear flank. "This is a trap for a mouse!" cried the Play-doh Clay Man. The line of them had but to

    6
  • sign on the dotted line and the gypsy builders would double the width of the castle's moat.. Poor planning though, since they had forgotten to lengthen the drawbridge. All of the

    6
  • horses, having heard of this gypsy fiasco, REVOLTED! Many a neigh was heard across those roaming hills, and the townsfolk realized all they ever wanted was now gone..damn gypsies.

    6

4 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman May 06 2012 @ 04:19

    That was an entertaining game of Clue!

  2. Zetawilk May 07 2012 @ 15:48

    In chess, which pieces are the archers and which cast the magics?

  3. Chaz May 08 2012 @ 18:25

    I never figured it out, I always kicked the board over and left in a huff.

  4. m80 May 28 2013 @ 12:06

    In case you haven't seen it, this story is in FoldingStory Vol. 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdAkkIB1YkE

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