"It was a dark and stormy night," said the

"It was a dark and stormy night," said the Cliché-voiced Narrator.

"A perfect night for a sumptuous meal, wouldn't you agree?" said our beloved and charming host, who unfortunately had been dead for quite some time. Mr. Price

's right ear lobe fell into the salmon terrine. I manoeuvred it over to the edge of the plate, but Mr Price, less charmingly, demanded I eat it. "It's part of your ear," I hissed a

t him, eyes aflame." Body parts were littering the table, how could they not recognize which ones were theirs? Was cannibalism a precursor to stupidity?

Hannibal smiled knowingly at his dinner guests.

The dinner guests look back and smiled. Hannibal face turned around, smiling even creppy than ever. I was there too i saw it , it look like it had turned into something bad...

Then I realized something. The great Doctor, Hannibal Lecter, was hiding something very dangerous. At once it hit me. It was obvious. Hannibal Lecter was secretly a fairy princess.

He didn't want to eat me, he wanted to marry me. But how would someone like Hannibal know about my secret identity as the fairy prince? I had only ever told 3 people: 1)

And that's why I banished him to be a marmoset, and now I'm in this right pickle because my hindsight tells me he would have been so much better as a sparrow instead.