"I've done it. I've finally done it," I whisper,

"I've done it. I've finally done it," I whisper, wiping several beads of sweat from my brow.

I lay there in the adult diaper brimming with pride.

being in an adult diaper made me feel simultaniously mature and youthful!

But the leaking gaps in the adult diaper left a puddle on the settee at my bosses house party. I was outed and the neighbors all laugh insanely while the large golden retriever

tried to bury me in my boss' flower bed with help from the cat, who scraped dirt over me as if I was in its catbox. No-one seemed to understand that it was not my fault I smelled

Bananas, some people like that kinda thing, obviously the cat didn't, and i lay there in my shallow grave think 'what is this world coming to' and kinda wished that i was actually

Able to jump onto the table and grab a banana. But I couldn't do that without shattering the glassware into 4,733,874 pieces. I did that 3-1/2 years ago and got into big trouble.

So I hatched an elaborate plan to collect the banana without touching it or the table. I constructed a Rube Goldberg machine that started with a catapult and

ended with flames erupting from my kitchen trash can. What happened in between was both my greatest success and darkest failure. I got the banana, though,and it brought me all the