Toto didn't bark, he just skulked so hard

Toto didn't bark, he just skulked so hard he pissed. Dorothy looked up in fear. She saw the Wicked Witch of the West Side Connect flying in on her giant

Cadillac Escalade. It was giant not because the manufacturers made it that way, but because of the replaced rims that the Wicked Witch herself installed. With Lil Kim blasting, she

took off her pointy hat so she could fit in the driver's seat, and then put her foot on the gas and tore down the road. Her license plate read DRTHY RIP, but Dorothy was still

alive and sexy as can be in her little overall dress and those pigtails. Grrrrrr. Rawr! The witch was careening wildly down the road, the scarecrow was reading a self-help book, th

inking thoughts he'd never thought before, while the Tin Man was behaving like a gigolo. It was the poppies. We all ingested a little too much opium. We were in the land of Ahhhhs.

Tin Man? Poppies? Ahhhhs? Thinking, blinking, winking, stupid sparkly slippers and horrid flying monkies get me outta here and into a nice, rational Faulkner thinking

. "My precious!" Gollum pushed over Dorothy, grabbed her ruby slippers, and ran into the haunted forest. The Scarecrow helped Dorothy up. 'We must get the Wizard of Oz, Gandulf."

Gandulf? Dorothy dismissed the Scarecrow's hairbrained idea. "We can find the little midget who stole my slippers ourselves. Look at these stiletto marks & he mutters "My Precious

homeless tramp, Dorothy. Yes, it's true, I have no brain, and the Tin Man has no heart, and the Lion has no courage, but...you...useless little Raggedy Ann, you know nothing about

Care Bears. Absolutely nothing. So you should leave before you are assassinated. You cannot stay he-" And little Raggedy Ann was assassinated on the spot.