The wise old crow who perched for many years

The wise old crow who perched for many years in the hollowed out tree overlooking the Parker farm and watched Hank Parker perform the ghastly deed. When Hank finished burying

his entire Abba collection a pentagram appeared on the floor and a blonde haired tall figure stepped upwards through the freshly dug earth.

" Of course I do," he said "Warlock! duh... and since you're a blonde, I will explain pentagrams very slowly..." She promptly crushed his head in her massive palms. "Erk!" he said.

"Don't call me blonde," she growled. He rubbed his sore head and apologized. "Anything you say, sweetheart. Just don't do that again!" She tossed her sexy hair over her shoulder

and into the bucket behind the butcher counter. It was a wig. He scalp looked all jagged and crispy like sun-baked

Lays, with dandruff for salt and blood for salsa. My worldview had been rocked during my days in Chinatown as a health inspector. Everywhere I looked, I saw spoiled food, mold, and

Salmonella-induced hallucinations that made me believe I was being haunted by dead chickens and cockroach-infested chop-suey. And it didn't get any better when I accidentaly

ate at one of those cheap "Chinese" buffets that serve crappy food under the guise of actual food and got food poisoning. Food sprouted all over my body and I was bedridden for 2

whole years. When I was better, I still had the mellon vines growing out of my ears, and my doc couldn't get rid of them. I'll never go to a place called 'Chinese BuFeet' again.