As Roberta floated her model boat for the

As Roberta floated her model boat for the first time, it inexplicibly exploded into a thousand pieces. The debris that fell from the sky was even more extraordinary! Hundreds of

"We Didnt Start the Fire" was blasting from the jukebox. Tim was a history major. Momentarily forgetting about the bodies falling outside, he looked at the men in the gay bar and

inwardly slavered with closeted desire. But you can only forget about falling bodies for so long, and he returned to watching as they hit the pavement with wet packing sounds.

It sounded like like Manatee's whacking their bellies with wet sacks of rotten bananas. It was the sweet sound of a "Buffalo Jump." The indians chased the buffalo off a cliff and

their dying moans added to the cacophony of sound filling the crisp Autumn air. There was one hunter, however, who did not join so wholeheartedly into the slaughter. He stood

apart from their primal bloodlust. Peter Parsnip was a Vegan hunter. He hunted only large tubers and the greater squashes. The Great Pumpkin was stuffed and mounted over his mantel

. He kept his wife in a yurt made of the finest hides of winter gord. The legend of Peter devolved into a simple nursery rhyme. King Cole was another matter, when he called

Domino's, they were closed. "But I'm a famous nursery rhyme character!" King Cole insisted. "Sorry Humpty, we're still closed," the pizza joint mockingly replied. Cole was so angry

that he stuck his finger up inside of his nose, and his Midas touch turned him to gold. All the forest animals carved pieces off of him and became rich. Happy end!