"TMI" "Huh?" "TMI - 'too much information',

"TMI" "Huh?" "TMI - 'too much information', like when your buddy says, 'Since my wife has me on this vegan diet my turds are green.' or . Get it?"

"You mean that's not normal?"I blurted out. I had a reason to be concerned, as I had never been vegan. Since I was a child, I had an unhealthy fear for everything green. Once, my

biology teacher took our class on a field trip to a local botanical garden. You can imagine my horror when we came upon the place. All that green. It was everywhere. I couldn't sta

nd anymore because my knees were like jello. The plant from my dream was right there, with its glistening metal teeth and long legs. Did I fail to mention, this plant has legs?

It's called a Legplant. It grows in sub-tropical climates and is a conifer. It grows giant fruits of bunches of legs. Big curvy legs with painted toenails.

..that wrap themselves around whoever happens to walk by,which is how Bob found himself entangled in 8 curvaceous gams & a ruby red toenail shoved up his left nostril. The Legplant

Parmesan was especially popular at local gentlemen's bars. Tim Orton of the Miami-London-Prague-New York-Washington Times had recently run an expose on legplant trafficking in the

Region of Florida that attracts the most maggots. Tim Orton knew maggots make a good meal if fried and put on a stick. Lots of protein, his mum told him. "Ccccrrrruuuuunnncccbh!"

A giant frog had stepped on Tim's house looking for fried maggots on a stick. The roof was now crunched in. "Great Mum, just great," steamed Tim, "First a nutrition lesson, now