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My name is Bob, and i live in a corrupted

  • My name is Bob, and i live in a corrupted city with no name. Bob started to run away from the pineapple gang when suddenly Bob stumbled onto a

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  • cartoon show on Nickelodeon. They were all there, Ward the Squid, Sandy Squirrel, Patrick the Star. Its like they took my gang life and made a mockery. I, Bob the Sponge, would

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  • rather burn this shit to the ground. I knew some guys from my time inside - not the kind of guys you would introduce to your mother, but the kind of guys that can get a job done.

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  • I headed downtown, to a certain dive where I knew I'd find them. Sure enough, Big Frank and Willie Mo were propping up the bar, already a dozen beers in. "Hey fellas, next round is

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  • your last." I said, bringing up my nine. I fired wildly, bullets went everywhere. Willie Mo took 2 in the chest, but Big Frank dove behind the bar. He emerged seconds later with

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  • several high-end single barrel scotches in his arms, and I had to lower my gun. He had hostages. "Listen," I said, "We can talk about this." My mouth watered for the peaty potables

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  • as I stared at their golden, aged goodness. "Dere'll be no a-talkin' abut dis! Gimme wot you promized, or deez booze gets it!" I made up my mind in an instant. I threw my gun at

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  • Jar Jar Binks. "Shut up! Take your Carribean 'Under The Sea' Patois and shove it up your amphibious ass." Jar Jar's presence had destroyed the holy sanctity of my

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  • Star Wars bar scene reenactment. I'd explicitly stated in the Evite that any Jar Jar supporters were not welcome and would be taken out behind the

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  • shed and beaten with a rusty shovel within one inch of their life. Fortunately, no Jar Jar supporters showed up, and I was later informed that they were a myth, which made me happy

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