One happy day I woke up full of joy and with
- One happy day I woke up full of joy and with an overwhelming sense of security and self-confidence. It was really a glorious day. Did I mention it was the best day ever?
- Humming a merry tune, I picked up the newspaper. It was blank. No bad news at all! It only had the weather report, clear and sunny. This was the best day ever!
- Why, everything was going my way today! My boss gave me a raise AND told me to take the rest of the day off. I scratched an itch. Did I mention that this was the best day ever?
- This was gonna be great! I scratched again, a little harder this time. What to do with my paid day off?! Scratch. Scratch, scratch. I felt fantastic. I looked in the mirror
- at my pile of losing lotto tickets. In a daze, I frantically searched for something else to scratch. Aha! My daughter had a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on her science test. "Jenny!"
- I had named her "Jenny" after my late wife (we were like peas and carrots). After my late wife passed away I felt like, well, doing some serious sex-tourism. Then had a child who
- was employed as slave labour at the Plunder & Flee Bank PLC. Greenland was the latest hot spot in the sex-tourism industry so I booked a voyage on a
- rusty tea tray to see the tempting ladies of Nuuk. As soon as I hove into Greenland's major port I saw them by the dock. Swaddled in seal skin and vortex, their guttural Danish
- was reminiscent of blueberries, swamp gas, and gouda. I removed the bottle of Lagavulin from my trunk and held it before them. The ladies smiled and giggled before one approached
- and whipped out a two-foot bandsaw. My noxious fumes indicated I had been drugged! She was cutting off my tusks and stealing my ivory! Damn those thieves! And damn their piano.
- Started
- 2012-12-11 19:08:40
- Finished
- 2013-10-31 01:49:22
6 Comments
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lucielucie Oct 31 2013 @ 11:29
Gortex got autocorrected to vortex there. My ipad isn't the outdoor type.
49erFaithful Oct 31 2013 @ 12:27
That does make improved sense ... scratch. Scratch scratch.
PurpleProf Oct 31 2013 @ 13:18
Poor Mr. Elephant...and here his day started off so well...
hamstak Oct 31 2013 @ 13:34
Gortex is marketed as Vortex in all countries whose name begins with 'V' -- Venezuela, Vanuatu, etc.
lucielucie Oct 31 2013 @ 14:32
Also all the scratching should have started after rather than before the sex tourism.
SlimWhitman Jan 29 2014 @ 14:11
Mr. Elephant? ... Scratch scratch.