He didn't get up to give her the seat. Screw

He didn't get up to give her the seat. Screw her. Screw her and her inability to control her stomach. She used to be hot but now she was a pig. Well, he no longer had to be

worried about his manly looks anymore as well. All he worried about was the snow globe he got from his Aunt Lizzy back in England, the land of the snow globe fairies. So

he took the snow globe and smashed it on

King Richard's copper breast plate. For these were war times. Barbaric battles were consuming the men and boys of England. Anything could be brandished as a weapon. And was.

The manual had been very specific. "Multiple Use. Pump until inflated, then, apply finger to tip to relieve extra pressure." Unfortunately, the manual was for tire repair, not war

sex toy implementation. The manual was (ironically) written in Esperanto to promote peace in wartime for soldiers through inflatable "auto-love." This martial masturbator was

sure to have been a hit, but the manufacturers overlooked one little thing - none of the soldiers spoke Esperanto. Peace in wartime was within their literal grip, but they couldn't

stop the hostile takeover of the Mormons by the Scientologists, the merged entity to be known as The Church of Mormontology with each Mormon shareholder getting

40 acres and a mule, as decreed by the galactic overlord Xenu. Oh how the children would dance, content in their faith. Overall it had been a wise merger for both parties.