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First Santa came in. The dalek entered through

  • First Santa came in. The dalek entered through the window. The fight over presents and world destruction began. Santa flung candy canes as the dalek tried to exterminate him. Th
  • e dalek had not considered that the Chicken with a chip on his shoulder from Family Guy would be there too. It was a battle royale, the dalek, Santa Clause and the Chicken.
  • It went on for years with the Chicken ultimately winning. Not because of any martial skill by the Chicken but because salmonella. Santa succumbed to it and it corroded the dalek's
  • shriveled little brain masses.Davros himself succumbed.The Time Lords being a cowardly lot, but honorable in their own way invited the chicken to an audience of the High Council.
  • The chicken wasn't capable of much discourse, but did manage to communicate that she was concerned about her people's shrunken brains and pleaded with Rassilon to
  • devolve her chicken sisterhood back to T-Rexes to reassert themselves. Rassilon just sat and stroked the Mutton Chops of Rassilon™ pensively. "What are grits?" he eventually asked.
  • The chicken smiled at Rassilon (and his mutton chops™ ) as well as she could, given that her beak was so rigid. "Grits are a waste of good corn," she said. But Tim the Shrimp was
  • steaming mad. "How dare you besmirch my grandmother's grits!?" And so began the Great War between the Shrimps and the Chickens. The first volley was fired by the Shrimps, a bowl of
  • oyakodon laced with mayo & meringue. The chickens were aghast that the shrimp had gone there. They drenched the shrimp in bubbling butter & garlic. Many of the shrimp turned pink.
  • with humiliation when butchers plucked feathers off chickens & revealed them as fat and unsightly, but the chickens clucked proudly when it was shown they were both white and dark.
Started
2014-04-24 21:48:16
Finished
2020-12-09 11:27:47

9 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Jimbeau Dec 09 2020 @ 11:33

    This one should be read to the grandchildren, when everyone is perched in front of a roaring fire, cuddling a steaming flagon of rum punch.
  2. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Dec 10 2020 @ 17:34

    I remember the Great Shrimp-Chicken War of 2020. It was just me and One-Legged Lloyd, hunkered down in our trench, dodging bird poop and firing off ramekins of butter and garlic. But we did it, and we won.
  3. Avatar

    Zetawilk Dec 12 2020 @ 21:13

    I'm reminded of a Mr. Bean episode.
  4. Avatar

    Woab Dec 13 2020 @ 11:04

    But who is to blame for this short series of wars? Is it Santa? The Daleks? The Chickens? Or are the chickens' lizard brains merely reacting to the threat? One-legged Lloyd and Mr. Bean should have stayed out of a conflict that was frankly none of their business to begin with. The carnage. Maybe Col. Sanders should have gotten in there.
  5. Avatar

    Zetawilk Dec 13 2020 @ 19:32

    Col. Sanders was slain in battle by Popeye. It was a curb-stomp battle.
  6. Avatar

    Col.Lingus Dec 16 2020 @ 01:27

    The salmonella didn't stop at Santa & the daleks. It got Popeye through his spinach. Sadly, Sweat Pea and Olive Oyl ate the tainted spinach as well.
  7. Avatar

    Woab Dec 18 2020 @ 11:50

    So Col., did they meet their finish 'cos they ate their spinach?
  8. Avatar

    Col.Lingus Dec 19 2020 @ 17:50

    Manatee felt a fin itch, murder in Greenwich.
  9. Avatar

    Woab Dec 21 2020 @ 11:47

    Thus toll the chapel bells of St. Neptune.

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