Once upon a time, there was -- oh fuck it.

Once upon a time, there was -- oh fuck it. B'CHUGERROTH!!!!!!!!!!!

If you find this note please past it on. B'chugerroth is coming. You must warn others. You must tell them my story, which is in the following:

One day, after jerking off furiously, I realized that B'chugerroth was coming, and I knew I had to warn others - and ask them to tell my story -- but my story is shit!

"Maybe you shouldn't waste your story bitching then." With that I awoke in a hospital bed. I'd traveled back in time. I have a chance to make this story right! I

quickly regressed to my survivalist instincts, seducing children from the local playground and mugging them to survive. Some days I would even

teach 12 year old girls how to be prostitutes. I felt terrible, but ti would gain me a sweet $45 dollars a pop. Still, I noticed the children community becoming worse and worse.

In fact, this small town community was in the middle bumblefuck Iowa. I thought my pimp hat and cigarillos would impress the kids. But they just hung out in the cornfield with

the scarecrows with their thick gold chains and drawn-on and glitter-glued grills. The kids ate that shit up. As for me, I mostly stayed in my matte black Saab, smoking Swisher

blunts. High off my ass, I fired up the Saab and meandered into traffic. The Scarecrows were waiting. They lit into the Saab with their glocks and thats how I got these scars.