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Since tomorrow is the end of the world, I

  • Since tomorrow is the end of the world, I would like to tell my fair readers a little story about the meaning of life and happiness. To lift up your spirit. "There once was a
  • guy from India who never believed in the existence of God or any magical powers in the world. He was practial and a rational thinker at its best. When he read about the Mayans
  • having a tea party with Queen Elizabeth II, he was amazed. He visited Buckingham Palace to join the Mayans and the Queen. He brought a plate of cucumber
  • -inflected council fry-up, and a wittily deconstructed watercress sandwich made of bread crusts and a leaf of cilantro. Queen Elizabeth II greeted all this with exactly the same
  • enthusiasm she always did when trying haute cuisine."Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" Queen Elizabeth hollered. Her people oohed.The sandwich yielded a three whoop designation from Bessie!
  • Hot damn and sakes alive! There hadn't been a three-whooper since the Queen had finally been convinced to try fish tacos back in '99. This particular sandwich was not unlike
  • the Sandwich's in general. The Earl of Sandwich has always been adroit and sniffing out flatulence. His snackery was unequaled. And well the Queen and her three-whooper had
  • Meanie martinis made by the butler. This was the start of new traditions.
  • We opened all the doors and windows, let a fresh breeze in. The butler did his best not to look cross; as did the rest of the staff. It was a crazy night
  • to eat pie. As we started to slice the pie, the butler died of a heart attack, which was a result of too much

10 Comments

  1. Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:03

    Darts! Accuse dentally clicked fold and pass as I was typing. I was going to make a pie pun but it's ruined! Oh well. PS the butler died of eating too much pie, as the autopsy found out later

  2. Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:03

    I hate auto correct ^^^

  3. dTwanty May 01 2016 @ 16:03

    Too much WHAT? C'mon man, I need to know!!

  4. Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:06

    No worries bro, he died of eating pie. As I will. As we all will. Rest In Pies Mr butler

  5. Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:08

    Also, we are still alive!

  6. dTwanty May 01 2016 @ 16:10

    Speak for yourself...

  7. SlimWhitman May 10 2016 @ 17:16

    @Flopp: Your ideas live beyond the story, and so I liked the ending post-foldously. Thankyou Mr. Tomato for giving us all something cheerful to take into post-existence. Whoop Whoop whoop!

  8. PurpleProf May 11 2016 @ 14:49

    We have a LOT of great new writers here on FS. :)

  9. Flopp May 11 2016 @ 16:57

    @PurpleProf You betcha!

  10. BlastedHeath May 12 2016 @ 19:30

    @PurpleProf -- I agree!

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