Since tomorrow is the end of the world, I
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Since tomorrow is the end of the world, I would like to tell my fair readers a little story about the meaning of life and happiness. To lift up your spirit. "There once was a
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guy from India who never believed in the existence of God or any magical powers in the world. He was practial and a rational thinker at its best. When he read about the Mayans
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having a tea party with Queen Elizabeth II, he was amazed. He visited Buckingham Palace to join the Mayans and the Queen. He brought a plate of cucumber
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-inflected council fry-up, and a wittily deconstructed watercress sandwich made of bread crusts and a leaf of cilantro. Queen Elizabeth II greeted all this with exactly the same
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enthusiasm she always did when trying haute cuisine."Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!" Queen Elizabeth hollered. Her people oohed.The sandwich yielded a three whoop designation from Bessie!
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Hot damn and sakes alive! There hadn't been a three-whooper since the Queen had finally been convinced to try fish tacos back in '99. This particular sandwich was not unlike
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the Sandwich's in general. The Earl of Sandwich has always been adroit and sniffing out flatulence. His snackery was unequaled. And well the Queen and her three-whooper had
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Meanie martinis made by the butler. This was the start of new traditions.
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We opened all the doors and windows, let a fresh breeze in. The butler did his best not to look cross; as did the rest of the staff. It was a crazy night
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to eat pie. As we started to slice the pie, the butler died of a heart attack, which was a result of too much
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- Started
- 2012-12-20 13:54:48
- Finished
- 2016-05-01 16:01:29
10 Comments
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Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:03
Darts! Accuse dentally clicked fold and pass as I was typing. I was going to make a pie pun but it's ruined! Oh well. PS the butler died of eating too much pie, as the autopsy found out later
Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:03
I hate auto correct ^^^
dTwanty May 01 2016 @ 16:03
Too much WHAT? C'mon man, I need to know!!
Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:06
No worries bro, he died of eating pie. As I will. As we all will. Rest In Pies Mr butler
Flopp May 01 2016 @ 16:08
Also, we are still alive!
dTwanty May 01 2016 @ 16:10
Speak for yourself...
SlimWhitman May 10 2016 @ 17:16
@Flopp: Your ideas live beyond the story, and so I liked the ending post-foldously. Thankyou Mr. Tomato for giving us all something cheerful to take into post-existence. Whoop Whoop whoop!
PurpleProf May 11 2016 @ 14:49
We have a LOT of great new writers here on FS. :)
Flopp May 11 2016 @ 16:57
@PurpleProf You betcha!
BlastedHeath May 12 2016 @ 19:30
@PurpleProf -- I agree!