It wasn't the constant barking that annoyed

It wasn't the constant barking that annoyed me. No, I could live with that. And it wasn't the incessant whining, either. That was almost bearable. It really all came down to the

the gnawing. The constant gnawing at the door whittled away my sanity with each jagged edge he created with those tiny, relentless teeth. Forty seven bullets later, his owner died

from a heart attack caused by dodging all those bullets. He was really out of shape and I was a terrible shot. I bagged his body and threw it into the back of my minivan. I needed

a beer after that one...and maybe some women...and some snowglobes

...or maybe some men...

but the past was the past and now it was time for Jebediah Springfield to protect the sheep from further suffering. It was a wooly challenge, but by shear determination he was able

avoid further cliche by euthanizing them with a combination of Oil of Olay and

Wrinkles were the bane of the mortician's so he was glad they did not have any. In fact, they were achingly beautiful dead. He kept telling himself he would stop, but

he pulled out his camera for one last picture. I think I will look for a new job tomorrow, maybe something in folding.