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Study finds that multi-tasking is associated

  • Study finds that multi-tasking is associated with fewer brain cells. "Well, well, well." said Prof. Abalone. "What a BIG surprise." He started to laugh and unhinged his bivalve

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  • as I both froze & thrashed. Cruel Prof. Abalone! I puked into my cummerbund, which ruined my magic act for the night. I could not accept that the Cosmic Emanator was a unicellular

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  • organism. I had to get to the bottom of this! I threw down my magic hat and cane in a great huff, and I stormed off the stage. Cruel Prof. Abalone would have to take up the slack.

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  • Lets face it, I was getting tired of being a second-rate magician. I had my eyes set on making it to Vegas. I knew that if Prof. Abalone wanted to continue working dive bars it

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  • was his business. I auditioned at Vegas casinos, but my act was not Penn & Teller’s or David Copperfield’s. I needed a gimmick. I remade myself as “Screwdini,” the magician who

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  • made women disappear during sex. "So you're a comedy act. I'll pass. Vegas is full of comedy acts", is all I heard. Why did everybody think that Screwdini was a comedy act? I could

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  • quote every line from every gimmicky porno movie I ever saw. "Another day, another biscuit. That's what I always say." That's from the second Kelsey Grammar sex tape. My magic act

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  • suddenly morphed into a pay-per-view pornographic cooking show complete with biscuits, bagels and tutus. Kelsey Grammar challenged Rob Lowe to a sex tape one off, winner take all

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  • but no-one was really interested in either Kelsey's or Rob's buns, no matter how much butter was smeared on them. When Betty Crocker showed up wrapped in cellophane, the screen

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  • went to a screen test patterns not seen by human eyes since the mid 70s. Then a horizontal bar of static appeared expanding vertically until it encompassed us all. Some rejoiced.

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2 Comments

  1. Jimbeau Jan 29 2021 @ 12:17

    Oh, my...so...this is how the Baby Boon Generations fades away...raised by television...informed and controlled by the mass media...and made extinct by High Definition Microwave Beams.

  2. Woab Jan 29 2021 @ 14:03

    Yes. Plus, the Col.'s finale was awfully good, I thought.

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