Study finds that multi-tasking is associated

Study finds that multi-tasking is associated with fewer brain cells. "Well, well, well." said Prof. Abalone. "What a BIG surprise." He started to laugh and unhinged his bivalve

as I both froze & thrashed. Cruel Prof. Abalone! I puked into my cummerbund, which ruined my magic act for the night. I could not accept that the Cosmic Emanator was a unicellular

organism. I had to get to the bottom of this! I threw down my magic hat and cane in a great huff, and I stormed off the stage. Cruel Prof. Abalone would have to take up the slack.

Lets face it, I was getting tired of being a second-rate magician. I had my eyes set on making it to Vegas. I knew that if Prof. Abalone wanted to continue working dive bars it

was his business. I auditioned at Vegas casinos, but my act was not Penn & Teller’s or David Copperfield’s. I needed a gimmick. I remade myself as “Screwdini,” the magician who

made women disappear during sex. "So you're a comedy act. I'll pass. Vegas is full of comedy acts", is all I heard. Why did everybody think that Screwdini was a comedy act? I could

quote every line from every gimmicky porno movie I ever saw. "Another day, another biscuit. That's what I always say." That's from the second Kelsey Grammar sex tape. My magic act

suddenly morphed into a pay-per-view pornographic cooking show complete with biscuits, bagels and tutus. Kelsey Grammar challenged Rob Lowe to a sex tape one off, winner take all

went to a screen test patterns not seen by human eyes since the mid 70s. Then a horizontal bar of static appeared expanding vertically until it encompassed us all. Some rejoiced.