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"What's black and white and red all over?"

  • "What's black and white and red all over?"

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  • "That's easy," replied Timmy. "A newspaper." "No, Timmy. It's an exploding zebra," Mr. Sparks answered. It was then that the third grade decided to kill their teacher.

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  • After spending all afternoon hatching a plot, they later slept on it, and the next day collectively decided to tell everyone that their teacher was insane. The teachers union

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  • was actually comprised exclusively of psycho ward patients. The teacher in question snapped at the sound of children's voices. Her tics included eating chalk, giving F's, and

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  • generally strut about pretending to be HRH The Queen of England. One day, after eating too much chalk, she called upon one of her students, "One would like a foot massage", Jimmy

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  • had no where to run, he wanted to gag from the acrid smell that emanated from her huge size 14 feet as she placed them squarely on his lap. If the expression on his face could

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  • be ultimate pain. "Ain't cha ever hads a lap dance befors?" inquired the girl with the big hoofs. "Usually, they aren't standing." he wimpered. "Wait til I start clogging. Yehah!"

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  • She started a loggers stomp on his lap while two other gals slapped their thigh in time.He threw a bankroll on the floor & while the three scrambled for it, he hobbled for the exit

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  • but his hootie nanny stopped him. "You've got a logjam in your stream of consciousness." So tired of her unsolicited advice. "Hello, old lady" he said, his mind going widdershins

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  • by heavens to murgatroyd. His sanity slipping away from boredom, gibberish rabble roused perpendicular to his pasty lips playing patsy to Perpigilliam paroxysms. Perfect alibi.

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