Pa pointed to the still. "Son, I want you

Pa pointed to the still. "Son, I want you to use your eyes to heat up that still, then fly these barrels to the county line." This was how Pa would get Clark into Moonshining

On his first trip to the border, Clark, carrying 4 full barrels of home brew, became distracted. Off on the horizon he could see a train heading for disaster. Ditching the barrels,

he sat down with a widow lady and commenced to play the Jews harp he had found in the outhouse out behind the house. They did a rendition of Al Stewart"s On The Border as that

final curtain rang down on the elderly widow's life. He checked her pulse, then played the juice harp for another hour, wondering why it was called a "Jews harp". It didn't sound

like hebrew but he had a mind not to question things and respect people’s wishes -especially dead old widows’ wishes. The police finally arrived over complaints of bad banjo music

, which he blamed on the widow's ghost. After the police left, he carried the haunted banjo to the cellar and buried it. That night, the dead widow returned, playing a trombone.

"I bet you have never heard a more beautiful tune," said the widowed apparition upon my entry into the room, "than what is flowing into your ears right this moment." I shuffled

uncomfortably on my feet because, on the contrary, I thought the tune was lousy. However, I wasn’t about to say that to the apparition and piss her off. “Oh, yes,” I lied, “it’s a

fine rendition of "You picked a fine time to leave me lucidity". Unfortunately, the apparition immediately picked up on my snarky tone and vengfully launched into a cover of "