Stale milk dripped from the walls and the

Stale milk dripped from the walls and the ceiling smelled as if it were made from dung. One day, after the triple-eared guard gave me my food, I finalised my escape plans.

I silently lapped at the wall of stale milk and broke through as it quickly gave away. The ceiling fell and he and his three twitching ears came dashing. It happens, my mama sez.

"I'm free of the cereal factory!" I said to the mutant elf. "We must rescue Crackle and Pop, if we are to stop this apocolypse!" Strange days indeed, my mama sez.

But when Snap and I got there, it was too late. Crackle and Pop were floating, bloated in a bowl of milk. "I will avenge my mutant elfin brothers!" Snap yelled as he shook his fist

at the sky. I helped him haul his brothers' bloated bodies from the pool of milk and we buried them in a box of cereal. "Crackle, Pop..." Tears streamed down Snap's elfin face.

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum, bring out the coffin, let Snap'smourners come

I remembered the last time I had been intoxicated by prune juice. It had been in the Winter of 2004, in Kansas. A blizzard shut the interstate down. I only had sardines and prune j

juice to keep me going for a period of 2 weeks. It's quite amazing the creations you can conjure from merely prune juice, sardines and pantry essentials. I say intoxicated, but

did I mention waking up in the ER with my stomach contents lying neatly next to me in a see-thru bag? Wait, is that a sardine swimming around inside? What WAS in that blamed juice?