63

I was walking down the beach, soaking in

  • I was walking down the beach, soaking in the summer, salty air when my phone rang. It was unexpected. It whipped me out of my day dreaming. I quickly go to answer it and I was shoc
  • ked to hear Eric's voice again. Eric "Foxypants" Fox, my summer boyfriend from last summer, was on the International Space Station and didn't want to come back down, not with
  • the outbreak of pigeon fever that was wrecking havoc everywhere on the planet. The stupid birds were suddenly deciding their diet had to be 100% fresh human meat, which meant
  • that I, of course, was safe, being a zombie and all. The feverish pigeons had no interest in me. But my girlfriend, Living Barbie, was like bacon frying to them. They followed her
  • , oozing feverish pigeon shit upon everything in their orbit (and orbit my Living Barbie they did), until I did the only humane thing possible: I bit my zombie teeth into her bacon
  • Her soft shoulder tasted like sweet cream and urine, and I could tell that she was turning. Soon the entire state would be zombies. There would be nobody to stop my reign except
  • the zombie pigeons that had been trailing my girlfriend. Their guano was enough to repel even the hungriest of zombies. I had to find a way to stop them or my dreams of conquest
  • would be less than guano. I asked my girlfriend to be the bait in my trap. "I already know you're not a master baiter but I'll do it." The zombie pigeons followed her into a cage.
  • They put their feathers together in cahoots, and burrowed their way into my girlfriends screaming body. Her skin rippled and claws broke out from her skin, and a beak forced its wa
  • ckiness into the final fold of this bird-brained story. My girlfriend died, then rose again, a blinding aura emanating from behind her, until I saw the strings and the stage light.
Started
2020-04-16 20:47:53
Finished
2020-06-09 18:38:06

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Jun 09 2020 @ 20:50

    It was just an act all along.
  2. Avatar

    MisterPants Jun 10 2020 @ 05:14

    Glad to see everyone love pigeons!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!