Last time on Meltreger: Talent agent Meltreger

Last time on Meltreger: Talent agent Meltreger stepped out his office with a look of muted horror. In this altered timeline, the French Nazis had won World War II. Ominous Reveille

battles the Formidable Orville "Rusty Punch" Redenbacher. Ominous Reveille has been training at De La Hoya's rehab but

Redenbacher's punch packed an uncommon pop. Ominous jumped rope, ran stairs, chased chickens, beat up punching bags and people holding punching bags. Still, Orville was favored by

hipsters who still secretly favored product placement despite their outward disdain. Vegas odds for Redenbacher vs. Ominous also favored the old popper, but when they heard Purdue

had perfected Cloned popcorn, they split, leav

there really was no movie theater in the near proximity. It was a sophisticated ploy, like a razor blade in a candy apple on Halloween. It would not end well.

All those movie goers would be lined up for days to see the new film and they would riot when they realized that there was no movie theater here. An old man threw a gatoraide bomb

and shouted, "Serenity NOW!" The people in line turned to see what the commotion was and while their backs were turned, I cut to the front of the line. Unfortunately,

the former first person in line noticed. Fortunately, I hushed him with an old sock. Unfortunately, it hushed him permanently. Fortunately, he was unfortunately kind of a jerk.