The idea was never to go with the subway

The idea was never to go with the subway sandwhich diet. But when traveling coast to coast a foot long goes a very long way. Gas prices be that they are, leaves very little

for produce, or for otherwise healthy but expensive foods. We're all broke so I suppose Subway is better than McDonald's if you've got to maintain a budget.

Exasperated with settling, I resolved myself to get some scratch together. My cousin Tony always seemed to have a pretty fat wad on him, so I dialed him up. "Yo Tone! How about

your big fat wad?!?" This totally pissed him off because he thought I was talking about his wife. Tony said, "I don't know what about your trashy ho-bag?" and hung up. Now I need

ed to analyze that sentence "I don't know what about your trashy ho-bag?". Was it a rhetorical question? What was it Tony didn't know? Why did he refer to his wife as my trashy ho?

He assumed that it was some kinky behind the scenes sex name that he used for her. But I couldn't picture his wife as the submissive sort, especially to a name like that.

I'd alwaysvjust called her Pickles, myself, and was not too keen on this new suggestive name, anyway. Though I'd always imagined her in her underwear, fresh fruit had never been

more appealing. I decided that now was the time. If I was going to marry Pickles, I would have to do it now or she would be scooped up by some other dork. I couldn't let good fruit

home and made it into a nice stew for my family. Four hours later we were all being rushed to the hospital, and I learned that I'm a poor judge as to wether something is edible.