once apon a time an assassin by the name

once apon a time an assassin by the name of ellie Thurman was delivered the task of capturing and killing Justin Bieber, after that she had to kill again. Connor Maynard

was the man behind the scheme, with his diabolical ideas and his hatred for talent and beauty.

Due to this fiery hatred, his ost hated enemy was Jake gauntlett, with such fair beauty, and magical talets, who could not hate or be jealous? His brilliance amazed even

My llama’s name is Juan and he doesn’t smoke.

Well, he doesn't smoke cigarettes - he's particularly fond of hookahs. You'd think Juan the llama would be more into Cuban cigars, but no - apparently as a baby llama (a llamino?)

goes, so does Juan the Llama, so he smoked cigarillos and drove expensive cars. That's how he met the president of the United States you know,

And the song went, "Obama packa llama on the way to Capistrano but your gonna needa driva if you want to go!" (Ukelele solo)

"...but only if you want to GOOOOOO!!!" (Big finish after ukelele solo) He ended the song, elbows extended, head bowed. At first there was no applause. Then one lone clap.

Then the sound of one clap clapping. Then a fractal applause feedback loop which measured 8.2 on Richter and rubbled the Sydney Opera House. A tuxedoed attendee brushed off some

dead kangaroo & straightened my huge ballgown. "The show must go on. Just get out there & knock their socks off!" I gargled a toothful of single malt & went out to face my public.