As I sat in the comfortable recliner in the

As I sat in the comfortable recliner in the shrink's office, I couldn't get the damn song out of my head. 'They're coming to take me away hahahihihoho to the funny farm..' It had

-n't occurred to me that the song wasn't in my head because I have multiple personalities, all of which are narcissists. My shrink came into the waiting room and announced that

the walls were closing in. "These are the days of teh expanding Everyman," she mentioned. "Would you care for a brisk stroll outside?" These desultory perambulations left

him in a haze but he was more interested her choice of words. "You mean 'the', right?" She nodded curtly. "Indeed, teh." He frowned. "No, not 'teh', the!" She frowned in turn. "Wha

Wha, wha... the unfinished words were beginning to get interesting. Teh haze was causing him to see half (as opposed to seeing double). Half of welco to my neighb won yo joi me f

o a bi t ea? W ca ha lett o mayon. Mis Rog pu o ha hi clot...[This is illegible.] Mr. Rogers put on half his clothing and filled in the missing latter letters with any old thing

he could find, being this: a feather and some oily black ink. Then, he proceeded to shut the envelope and paint it pale blue with watercolors and his bare fingers.

turned into snakes and bit his neck, and then he died. Then the pink pony of enormous gratitude soured out of his body and became president of Russia. Then the President

became ill, sprouting a horn and becoming a unicorn. Lollipops grew everywhere until the villagers, armed with puppies and hand cream, cured polio and saved the day.