Battle Robots were great as far as expensive

Battle Robots were great as far as expensive metallic self-masturbatory fighting went, but if you wanted true lethal tactical full contact slaughter fun, you had to

visit the Gator-Ate. It was the bloodiest amusement park since the Colosseum and you had to reserve tickets three months in advance. But once there, you were guaranteed a day-long

exciting safari. Visitors were equipped with a Bowie knife & a dugout canoe & left to their own devices. The object was to capture & eat a croc before one ate you. Big Brother TV

executives had been released specially from the gulag where they had been sent following the cataclysmic ratings meltdown of series XXXXLV, and bobbed helplessly among the reptilia

overlords that did not know why they were there nor what they were doing. The reptilia were rather odd overlords, often preoccupied with important matters of environmental safety

rather than their own. They liked to hold conventions with the humans at WWF and then eat them later because they were definitely a threat to the environment. Reptiles love humans.

The crocodiles lured us in with personifications: grinning widely, walking funny, and making mixtapes. Then the WWFers stored the human meat on arctic ice, a poor choice. It melted

like a chef's confection,each chunk rare human meat in a pool of its juices breaking apart on a series of solitary floes into the maw of a mutant snoring polar bear. The crocodiles

poo-pooed the idea of eating fresh meat, and instead drug their victims to the bottom of a pond to let them "ripen" a bit before chowing down. Soon the humans would be no more, dev

o songs would cease to exist, and the world would be a much, much less interesting habitat. Ultimately, they allowed some of the humans to survive...mainly for the sake of sport.