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Battle Robots were great as far as expensive

  • Battle Robots were great as far as expensive metallic self-masturbatory fighting went, but if you wanted true lethal tactical full contact slaughter fun, you had to

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  • visit the Gator-Ate. It was the bloodiest amusement park since the Colosseum and you had to reserve tickets three months in advance. But once there, you were guaranteed a day-long

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  • exciting safari. Visitors were equipped with a Bowie knife & a dugout canoe & left to their own devices. The object was to capture & eat a croc before one ate you. Big Brother TV

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  • executives had been released specially from the gulag where they had been sent following the cataclysmic ratings meltdown of series XXXXLV, and bobbed helplessly among the reptilia

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  • overlords that did not know why they were there nor what they were doing. The reptilia were rather odd overlords, often preoccupied with important matters of environmental safety

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  • rather than their own. They liked to hold conventions with the humans at WWF and then eat them later because they were definitely a threat to the environment. Reptiles love humans.

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  • The crocodiles lured us in with personifications: grinning widely, walking funny, and making mixtapes. Then the WWFers stored the human meat on arctic ice, a poor choice. It melted

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  • like a chef's confection,each chunk rare human meat in a pool of its juices breaking apart on a series of solitary floes into the maw of a mutant snoring polar bear. The crocodiles

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  • poo-pooed the idea of eating fresh meat, and instead drug their victims to the bottom of a pond to let them "ripen" a bit before chowing down. Soon the humans would be no more, dev

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  • o songs would cease to exist, and the world would be a much, much less interesting habitat. Ultimately, they allowed some of the humans to survive...mainly for the sake of sport.

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