This morning, when I woke up, I had a stomp

This morning, when I woke up, I had a stomp of a headache. I thought it might be a lack of sugar in my blood so I quickly scoffed down 10 packets of Rainbow Drops and

within seconds, beams of pure white light streamed from both of my ears, cleansing my head of all pain and impure thoughts. A soft voice whispered, "You are The Chosen One.

Oh, wait. Drat. Ever so sorry, seems I've made a mistake." And with that, the voice was gone, the pain returned, and I no longer was Chosen it seemed. Dammit, I hate Mondays!

But being Chosen is not necessarily a blessing as the actual recipient of the title would soon find out. She gained 300 lbs. in six weeks, lost her family and job, aged rapidly,

She gave an acceptance speech at the TDD bar in Milwaukee where she was now Patron Saint. "Thank you, Father Adderall, LinkedIn, and Twitter for making this possible."

The TDD Bar served 40 different lagers, but she couldn't stand any of them. She liked glogg and sangria. Her cat sniffed them but that was enough for her cat. She sneezed ten times

ten times ten which is more that nine hundred fifty seven, her favorite number. But when her cat got into the glogg, well watch out neighbourhood!

Her cat drove like a drunken maniac with a need for speed and thirst for blood. The fool went so far as to

pull over safely, set the brake, and then, only then, remove his seat belt turn to me and to ask with a serious face, "Hey are you hungry". My story stopped. "Yeah,I could eat."