All day I had this uncomfortable fullness

All day I had this uncomfortable fullness in my lower bowel region. To my horror, after work, I realized the problem was in my trousers. I unzipped them and staring back at me was

the largest penis I'd ever seen. Out of modesty I blushed, and refused to compliment its regal, yet penetrating monocular stare. It expressed itself in the only way it knew how

: by rising to attention like a good old fashioned barn raising. He was a shower not a grower though so it actually came as a disappointment when he was finished. "Is this it?"

and suffocated to death never to be heard or written of again. Meanwhile, at the Jesuit seminary, glaziers had just finished installing a stained glass window of Kermit the Frog

with Miss Piggy kneeling before him reverently. On second glance, maybe they should have redesigned that stained glass panel... Miss Piggy and Kermit were uncomfortably close

to Fozzy Bear as Baal. The next window was a of the Sermon of the Count. The speech bubble read, "Seven! Seven Sinners!"

"How will I ever get that many?" I had only found 3 sinners in this kinder garden class. Two that ate Crayons and one that ate Buggers of the bottom of her desk. Small sins yes but

they could be developed. The road to Hell has many on-ramps, I like to say. Entering the names into the app on my iPad, I continued my task. Lust, greed, and sloth were the

stations SuperDiablo had to get through to get on the highscore chart and that meant getting the attention of Dr. S. There were always new vacancies to fill at the top of the chart