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"Well I'll be damned" swore Mr. Fitzgerald,

  • "Well I'll be damned" swore Mr. Fitzgerald, my high-school physics teacher. "There really are a multitude of angels dancing on the head of this pin."

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  • Then of course, Aggie the skeptic raised her hand and shouted out, "What if there's no such thing as angels? I mean, it hasn't actually been proven-" But Mr. Fitzgerald, outraged,

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  • turned his back to us, tore off his plaid jacket and revealed (gasp!) wings sprouting from his shoulder blades. "If there are no such thing as angels, then explain THIS!"

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  • Jack jumped off the edge of the grand canyon. He spiraled to the grown like a meteorite until he spread his wings. The froth of the Colorado river tickled his chest

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  • as he spread his Pterodactyl wings skimming the surface of the Colorado. He'd timed the stunt during high water to impress rafters. But there weren't any. Then an Anttenborosaurus

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  • appeared, explaining in hushed, excited tones about how a Belted Kingfisher plunges head-first into water to catch it's prey. "Remarkable!" the Attenborosaurus exclaimed. 2 Irwins

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  • later, the swordfish asked to be dismissed. "I am no longer interested in this buffoonery. I know they're trying to be helpful, but if another man swipes me like that,

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  • I will bite him." The swordfish was dismissed and was replaced by an alewife, who thought she was a delicacy. Was she or wasn't she? Only her husband knew, and he was dead.

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  • "I shall bite him too." The alewife was devoured, and joined her husband in that shadowy nether region.

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  • In retrospect, that shadowy nether region found the alewife and her husband to be such disappointing appetizers that it turned its attention elsewhere for a more fulfilling buffet.

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