The funny thing was, he knew. It was only

The funny thing was, he knew. It was only afterward that I learned this, and yet he was able to keep quiet all this time. I should have expected this, seeing as he has a history of

omniscience. Being married to a Zen master had its ups and downs. Although he was basically a free yoga instructor, he would try to summon the Karma police whenever I desired

to desire. I would have to hide the Twinkies behind the wheat grass. For smoking, I was forced to meditate on a white wall for 6 hours. But I still love my Zen Master husband.

It's just too bad he minors in Incessant Nagging. Walk, don't drive. Open a window, turn off the A/C. Eat more veggies, less meat. On and on and on. By the time I get to the office

I've killed him a thousand times (in my head, of course.) But then we were at the Bus Stop. He nagged me one more time and I just threw him under the bus, literally, wrenched his

balls, grabbed him by the collar and threw him, right under the double decker. Never felt so satisfied in my life. Ever. That's what he gets for

disrespecting me and my lifestyle. Smashed by a bus. My elation was somewhat diminished, however, when I realized that a crowd of witness had just seen me push him onto the street.

"SEIZE HIM!" A booming voice sounded behind me. The next thing I knew, the end of a cold gun barrel had itself pressed against the back of my neck. Why must I be so

gullible? I complied with them giving them everything they asked for. They kicked me and I fell down flat on my stomach. "STAY DOWN"! Off they ran, and I saw it was only a pipe