The funny thing was, he knew. It was only

The funny thing was, he knew. It was only afterward that I learned this, and yet he was able to keep quiet all this time. I should have expected this, seeing as he has a history of

omniscience. Being married to a Zen master had its ups and downs. Although he was basically a free yoga instructor, he would try to summon the Karma police whenever I desired

to desire. I would have to hide the Twinkies behind the wheat grass. For smoking, I was forced to meditate on a white wall for 6 hours. But I still love my Zen Master husband.

It's just too bad he minors in Incessant Nagging. Walk, don't drive. Open a window, turn off the A/C. Eat more veggies, less meat. On and on and on. By the time I get to the office

I've killed him a thousand times (in my head, of course.) But then we were at the Bus Stop. He nagged me one more time and I just threw him under the bus, literally, wrenched his

disrespecting me and my lifestyle. Smashed by a bus. My elation was somewhat diminished, however, when I realized that a crowd of witness had just seen me push him onto the street.

"SEIZE HIM!" A booming voice sounded behind me. The next thing I knew, the end of a cold gun barrel had itself pressed against the back of my neck. Why must I be so

gullible? I complied with them giving them everything they asked for. They kicked me and I fell down flat on my stomach. "STAY DOWN"! Off they ran, and I saw it was only a pipe

leading to an interminably deep crevasse that seemed to descend for a great deal of time. Hopefully some mystical self-employed dirigible would aid in their descent. Or not.