She told everybody her name was Ma Bell,

She told everybody her name was Ma Bell, but who knew if that was true or not? Out in the wasteland it didn't matter what you called yourself, as long as you pulled your weight.

And Ma Bell had a lot of weight to pull...about 473 pounds...naked...and that ain't something you wanna see unless you're into BBW, and I guess boys in the wasteland weren't picky.

"We ain't picky round here. I like 'em BBW." said Sloppy Joe. Ma Bell blushed all the way up to her dark roots. Her fat chin wobbled with emotion. "Finally I found someone who

loves every inch of me!" Ma Bell sniffled. Sloppy Joe tried to put his arms around her enormous waist. She leaned in for a kiss, but tumbled over on top of Sloppy Joe. Twas a shame

. Miserable, Ma Bell called tech support. Sloppy Joe footed the bill, literally. "I'm not sure that's how it works, dear," Ma said as Joe slid the piece of paper into his shoe.

But sure enough, a receipt showing full payment popped out of his sock. "I gots magic feet." Sloppy Joe explained. Ma Bell wished she could be impressed, but tech support had just

cut off her internet access anyway. Ma Bell had a plan, though. She used Sloppy Joe's magic feet as antennae to the internet, wiggling his toes until she could finally browse her

history and delete all the porn recipe sites she had visited in the past fifteen years before the police found them. Once cleared, Ma Bell soaked Sloppy Joe's toes in bleach and

Placed matchsticks under his eyelids. "Now you go out to play, and remember to be a very good boy!" Sloppy Joe did what he usually did. Burned out cars. He used to pretend Ma Bell

was a phone company that he could hang up on. She told his brother, Archie, to tighten up. Then she made it smooth a couple of times. The matchsticks broke & he was hit by an Uber.