Well, that was a surprise, I large elephant

Well, that was a surprise, I large elephant under my bed.

"I large elephant" stood on the parchment. Who wrote that? It wasn't grammatically correct and didn't mean anything. I read it aloud, "I large elephant". The words glowed and faded

until I realized it was a Roman numeral. "I" was one - not the English word. Which made sense - it was an order for one large elephant. Unfortunately we were fresh out, so I

nipped down to the corner shop to see if they could help. "I'm sorry, we haven't any left," the bloke behind the till said, "But might I instead reccommend a brand new

to you wristwatch?" extending his arm to display a banged up Casio. I had no time for this. I was growing increasingly frantic and could feel my pulse in my throat. As I rushed out

to the street, I ran through the cars like a maniac. I had about two minutes to get to

the Trader Joe's. I used all the galactic pedestrian self-righteousness afforded a Trader Joe's shopper on foot. The level of "green" literally forces the lot traffic to stand stil

born. Frankly I couldn't see what was so "green" amidst the brown vibe of Trader Joe's, particularly with all the wood and plastic bags of sugar candy, and the adjoining Cracker B

a mural across the street depicting the crass consumerism of middle America in abstract minimalism. The next day, they covered it with a Walmart billboard.