He held his breath and handed her the envelope.

He held his breath and handed her the envelope. Her man's last words were written on it, and they were for his wife. She paused and opened it, grimacing. His wife would never see.

"Dear Sarah, if you are getting this note, it means the worst has finally happened. Remember the locket I gave you? Now is the time to open it up and find the

beast within." She opened the locket. Three numbers: 666. Then she felt the baby kick. At first she smiled. Then realization swarmed around her like voracious piranha. The sulfer

smell emanating from her hind quarters really let her know what time it was (6:66, in case that wasn't obvious). The cascading horror show that was building up inside wasn't

going to subside anytime soon. She felt the acidic juices churning in her stomach. Suddenly, the noxious liquids lurched upward and spewed from her mouth, splattering against

all over him he wanted to smile but didn't want the vomit in his mouth. He cleaned himself and then asked her out on a date, of course she said yes, but on that date they went to

a carnival, and the vomit just wouldn't stop! Oh the vomit was everywhere, even just after riding the farris wheel, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? So it wasn't the best first date but she

reflected back on it, trying to find the silver lining. Unfortunately this time there was none, and they never went on a date again, and she started seeing five men at once. What a

revelation it was to satisfy all five orifices at once.She'd read in an ancient Chinese tome that as long as these openings were plugged the Chi couldn't escape and reached Nirvana