I could tell that she knew that he knew a

I could tell that she knew that he knew a thing or two about making stew with leftover Mountain Dew. Code Red

I looked over and I saw a pile of multi-colored socks and crazy patterns, none looked like a pair. I think she detected my fear of personal dishevlment, she cracked a smile and

cracked a beer. She said, "Look, I'm a neat freak. Cleanliness is next to godliness." She whipped me with hot towels soaked in bleach. She was a Hygienic Dominatrix. She

really turned me on. I was a masacist all out slob. The couch was a landscape of empty chip bags, cans of beer, beans and mixed nuts. The bleach stung good. I cried out to her for

more baked beans. They would staunch the flow especially if they were cold and congealed. Once the flow had subsided, she and I could get down to business and

cool down my reactor (if you know what I mean). I ladled the cold beans into the damaged vessel, The flow stopped and I leaned towards her, brushing back the front of my mullet.

I suddenly wondered why they would call a hairstyle a Mullet. It didn't look any thing like the fish by that name ,one of the ugliest fish to grace the Klamath Lakes. Luckily the

Darn, would it never stop? All the memories of my childhood flooded me... the pulling, the bullying, the jocks shaving my head to give me 'a proper heardo'. But I was not to cut my

nose-hairs, ever, lest I be beheaded and have my nose chopped off for apostasy. For I knew that my nose had grand ambitions, and I tried to be considerate of the people of earth.