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Johnny B. had ridden over 2000 horses in

  • Johnny B. had ridden over 2000 horses in his life, but this one was different. He could tell from the moment he got into the saddle. The horse was clearly overweight, but something

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  • about its scent was overwhelming. He bent to put his nose into the ferocious mane. Drawing deep, he inhaled its pungent musk. It smelled wild and vigorous. He remembered

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  • summers in Sevilla. That was the intoxicating aroma of Kenny Rogers's beard. He wept over his roasted chicken. Kenny Rogers caught his tears with a spork and said, "

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  • Damn! This would be fierce with some sausage gravy, but first I think that I am gonna roll around in that ant hill behind the chemical factory." I haven't been this alive since

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  • I stayed up all night watching a Bosom Buddies marathon and ate an entire box of Thin Mints. I proceeded to strip down and laid upon the ant hill. They didn't pay much attention at

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  • first, perhaps because I also smelled of ginger, garlic, shiitake and chinkiang vinegar, but what do ants know about nutrition? I meant to do well on my feeble exit, but the ants

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  • venom made it hard to resist as they carried me to their ant hole. There was some difficulty getting me through the entrance but soon I was tête à tête with the queen who said, "

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  • You have been chosen to inseminate me with the seed to bear a generation of mutant children 100 times more powerful than those who captured you. Now stay still, this will hurt.

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  • " I struggled, but she had me in a hip lock and we were moving so fast even the clouds blurred. "I never wanted children!" I screamed, "The world is

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  • quiet here!" I bit into a lemony trisquit and was surprised that the flavor worked quite well. RD however did not trust the idea and prompty ditched me, speeding off as I fell.

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