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Je t'aime, I thought as I looked in the mirror,

  • Je t'aime, I thought as I looked in the mirror, noting the bulldozer pulling up behind me.

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  • "Oh, oui" I said aloud. "Vous etes un chien sexy". I saw Etienne hop off the bulldozer and head toward me, still not turning from the full-length mirror. She had been

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  • looking at herself while she drove the bulldozer, which is just like that conceited vamp, and she had run over a little boy who was playing in the yard. I shouted at her

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  • because the lawn had been so impeccably manicured and the judges for the neighborhood committee's contest of impeccable lawns was due any minute. Just then a flying saucer landed

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  • smack dab in the middle of the poorly manicured lawn. Panic arose throughout the neighborhood. Just as the owner of the lawn was going to run away

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  • he thought better of it. By God he had lived in this house for years. Let the others run away. He was here to stay. He popped open a beer and took a swig. The lawn remained

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  • a lawn. He remained a drunken bastard. He swigged. He guzzled. He belched. A cockroach or spider or something crawled across his foot. He stomped, missed by inebriated inches.

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  • His foot was impaled on a rusty spike, which he looked at with vague interest before opening a fresh bottle of Johnny Walker Red, swigging, and guzzling anew. "What was the nature

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  • of angry elephants anyways?", I pondered for I was watching Dumbo on the soul stealing channel called Disney Channel.After I finished my drink. I decided to go on ebay and look for

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  • justin beiber's used toilet paper. justin bieber is just too cute! hes cuter than dumbo! like oh my gosh! hes cuter than dumbo and squeaks louder than dumbo as well.

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