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It hit me. As a projectionist, I ruled supreme.

  • It hit me. As a projectionist, I ruled supreme. I could swap a family film for a snuff film, or treat the audience to an erotic shadow puppet show. How best to flaunt my standing?

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  • I have been practicing my finger exercises. So it seemed, that replacing Johnny's 5th bday film with the erotic shadow finger puppet display, would make perfect sense. That is

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  • until Johnny's mom requested a private show just for her in the bathroom. My finger puppets never felt so dirty, but that money was great, so I took my new B-day party show on the

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  • Shriner's circus circuit. I even put a fez on each of my erotic finger puppets. I was making hand over pumping fist. All was fine until we ended up in Terre Haute where the

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  • Hoosiers fans were rioting thanks to an upset loss to surprise rival Illinois. They were looking for anyone they could hurt, and a man as well-dressed as myself must have seemed

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  • odd standing in a cornfield. When the basketball fans charged me I said, "God is in his temple" and threw a lightening slap at their feet. Fire. Smoke. Singed feet stopped them.

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  • The running of the Bulls was particularly bloody that year. Benny the Bull met his match and gored Sir Alfred Bingham in 3:12, a new record. The poor sod found Benny could chop off

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  • tomorrow with a clock. It was surprisingly easy. From there it didn't take him long to understand that Sir Alfred Bingham was his target. They dragged his body away and gathered ar

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  • -mchairs which they put in a circle around the Sir Alfred Bingham's corpse before they set it ablaze. The bonfire party that ensued assured him that there was no love lost between

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  • him and the students he'd carefully tormented over the years Sir Alfred had served at Oxford. They roast marshmallows and bangers and, sang the alma mater until all were pissed.

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