It hit me. As a projectionist, I ruled supreme.

It hit me. As a projectionist, I ruled supreme. I could swap a family film for a snuff film, or treat the audience to an erotic shadow puppet show. How best to flaunt my standing?

I have been practicing my finger exercises. So it seemed, that replacing Johnny's 5th bday film with the erotic shadow finger puppet display, would make perfect sense. That is

until Johnny's mom requested a private show just for her in the bathroom. My finger puppets never felt so dirty, but that money was great, so I took my new B-day party show on the

Shriner's circus circuit. I even put a fez on each of my erotic finger puppets. I was making hand over pumping fist. All was fine until we ended up in Terre Haute where the

Hoosiers fans were rioting thanks to an upset loss to surprise rival Illinois. They were looking for anyone they could hurt, and a man as well-dressed as myself must have seemed

odd standing in a cornfield. When the basketball fans charged me I said, "God is in his temple" and threw a lightening slap at their feet. Fire. Smoke. Singed feet stopped them.

The running of the Bulls was particularly bloody that year. Benny the Bull met his match and gored Sir Alfred Bingham in 3:12, a new record. The poor sod found Benny could chop off

tomorrow with a clock. It was surprisingly easy. From there it didn't take him long to understand that Sir Alfred Bingham was his target. They dragged his body away and gathered ar

him and the students he'd carefully tormented over the years Sir Alfred had served at Oxford. They roast marshmallows and bangers and, sang the alma mater until all were pissed.