Moo said the cow when the sun started to

Moo said the cow when the sun started to come up. When I hear the cow in my sleep I wake up and

cry, I cry because my house is gone, my mother is dead, my father will never rise from that bed. A sad world I live in. But I live to hear that cow again.

That godamn cow that I love. That beautifull cow that came from above, that fell into my life to make me feel like a mess. That cow that came and gave to me her bless.

"That's awful," said Mr. Slant, my poetry teacher. I tore up the paper and walked out, giving up on poetry forever. I then pursued my dream of being an interpretive stenographer.

After getting my degree and establishing myself as the top stenographer in Kansas, I decided it was time for yet another career change. After much contemplation,

I sent in my application for the clown college at the edge of town. I anticipated eagerly my acception/rejection letter in the mail. The mail man finally slipped a beefy envelope

filled with my cocaine. I couldn't believe the post office hadn't picked this up. That afternoon i decided i didn't need clown college. Just drugs. Just as i had inhaled the first

line, I received a phone call from my dead brother. Of course this would later turn out to be a hallucination, but at the time it was some scary shit. I peed my pants over it so

when my dog got into my dirty laundry, the residual LSD sent him on a trip hitherto untraveled by even the most acid-addled hippy. Or dog. He told me my dead brother rang to say