She had lived in a bubble her entire life;

She had lived in a bubble her entire life; no, not that metaphorical bubble in which attractive people receive compliments (she was butt-ugly). It was a real bubble made of

perfect way to do so. The only downside to the impenetrable bubble was it limited her social interaction. She couldn't play any sports (unless she was the ball). However, one day

the girl in the bubble received an offer from a Japanese gameshow wanting to roll her at hapless contestants. She'd be rich and famous! The only catch was, she would have to wear a

yeti carcass bound in duct tape. And she would have to eat

it if she was going to win the beauty pageant. Ever since the strange encounter at age 12, she had craved yeti meat and was the real reason that Bigfeet were so hard to find.

The influx of beauty pagent starlets desire for cryptozoologic flesh, created a chain of boutique eateries. Nessie Sushi (TM) opened in San Francisco. Chupacbra Tex-Mex

(C) in Houston, and Bigfoot Barbeque (TM) in LA. The rapid expansion of Bigfoot BBQ and simultaneous disappearance of a number of beauty pageant starlets aroused the attention of

none other than Secret Agent Michael Scarn. Blowing the Scarn-Signal, he called upon his horde of vicious Basset Hounds. In minutes he was at local Bigfoot BBQ, ready to

cook the best darn squirrel-burgers in history. Pulling out his spatula, he called out to the stunned Sasquatch; "Get the Barbeque sauce, Scarn's cooking."