Strangely enough, Max Katz never owned a

Strangely enough, Max Katz never owned a cat, or should I say, a cat never owned him. The cat lady down the street often gave him sharp glances nonetheless. But his interests lay e

ternally bound with raising Emus. Max Katz loved the throaty noise they would make. It all started one day when he was laying in bed and looked out the window to see an emu staring

contest. Those are long and hard like interstate highways. When one Emu locks eyes with another Emu, determination meets idiocy. This is what the defiled Max Katz loved because it

really resonated with him in a way that others couldn't understand. Max understood Emus on a much deeper level than you or I, you see. Which is why he found himself

six feet under, lying in a coffin with Emus on top of him.Halloween gone wrong. I put my ear to the ground. Max & Emus were still alive & doing who knows what down there I shoveled

6 feet down in the moonlight. Hard work it was, but the worms they too knew Max & Emus were up to mischief in the coffin & helped me dig. I scratched the lid as the thumping within

ceased. Had Max & Emus expired? Or had they plotted something? A spotlight spread my shadow across the tombstones, and I dropped the spade. "All right, gravedigger," said Detective

Thomas. It was time to start work on the hole in the ground. Max and Emus were watching silently, sipping mocha cappuccino. They went to starbucks and used a coupon for free stuff.

They kept hoping to get each other but with each Free Cookie they doubted themselves were Free more and more until the chains seemed just out of reach. But no matter how much they

ate, they could never break free of their chains simply by gaining weight. They finally phoned the janitor and he got a hacksaw and soon the chains were off, but they were obese.