Burt Sterling put on his smoking jacket and

Burt Sterling put on his smoking jacket and lit a cigar. A man-about-town, raconteur, suave and dashing, he had everything girl could want - except money. He needed it right now

otherwise the ladies would never love him. Sterling's only chance was to fake it until he made it.

But what could he fake? Sterling went to his favourite place to think: a grassy clifftop overlooking the ocean. He perched on the rock ledge and dangled his legs over the edge.

A sudden sensation overtook his entire being, one of extreme importance. Sterling needed to take a dumb, and perched atop to ever expanding ocean, was left with little recourse.

He muddied the waters with a Sterling torpedo. It settled to the depths, into a fissure, where a bubbling cocktail of caustic vapors jetted from the crimson core. Some blind worms

a butt plug flew from nowhere into the anus, plugging it up. His gut began to grow with the growing goop, threatening to explode, then

"she" walked in the room & time stood still. He'd waited for this moment all of his life & now here she was, gliding elegantly toward him, arms outstretched, huge smile. He erupted

in Italy when Mt. Etna blew her cap. He didn't notice though because he'd soiled his pants in front of her and the look of disgust on her face said he's just blown his only chance.

"What. Is. Wrong with you?!" The woman exclaimed as she stared at the man's soiled pants. She walked away in disgust, leaving the man alone and hopeless of ever getting her.