Big Bob could still here the mantra "If you've

Big Bob could still here the mantra "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean." He quickly clicked away from the McD ad. "Have it your way." He relaxed & grabbed anoth

er beer & guzzled it down, belched (loudly),then snuck back out of the janitor's closet. He was supposed to be waxing the floors in the ward while the patients were at play therapy

session, but he was too lazy to do it. Instead, he decided to go towel surfing. He laid a towel out against the floor, jumped onto it, and slid down several flights of stairs.

The whole catastrophe was recorded by his roommate on cell phone. Then it went viral. Like planking and parkour, towel surfing stairs became the latest teen fad.

But a teen with strong research skills unearthed something interesting. While towel surfing was the new game in town, Bob discovered towel snapping of the late '50s. He decided

to try it out while on a surfing trip in Iran. Before being sent to prison and having his hands removed, Bob's towel-snapping research uncovered an amazing scientific breakthrough:

it was entirely possible to break all known laws of physics simultaneously using only a 835 thread count towel and the human wrist. Bob was astounded and immediately

Ran to the washroom to try out this theory with one of the towels inside. Careful to take a clean one, he sniffed the towels delicately for the fresh scent that comes from those

little dryer sheets she loved so much. Then folding it quickly into the shape of a small dog, I put it under my arm and entered the show with flair. Westminster be damned, I was go

for launch. Judges were blindfolded so I set my fake dog on the floor and assembled a solid rocket booster. I then cling wrapped the judges to the nose cap and lit the fuse. Voila.